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03/06/2006: "Life Decisions: Becoming a Fine Artist"
I grew up in an artistic family. For many years my parents never had financial stability and I was always concerned about the life they were leading. The fact that they were living the life that they had chosen, and loving it was lost on me when I was a child. I guess that because of my unusual parents I was very wary about following in their footsteps and living the artistic life. I thought that it would be better to become an advertising executive and make a bundle of cash. I even went to New York with an AD Exec. when I was sixteen to see how it was. It was very glamorous, but I saw right away that the amount of stress involved was higher than I had expected. At eighteen I got into college at the University of San Francisco and I signed up as an Advertising Major. That put me in their art department, which was actually not at USF, but at the Academy of Art College, in downtown San Francisco. All of a sudden I was taking drawing and painting classes in a real art school. Meanwhile in my Advertising 101 class we were already at each other’s throats in the faux stress environment of our classroom which made our teacher laugh at us, a knowing laugh that spoke volumes, it said: “If you think that this is rough, try it out for real!”. After that class I dropped my advertising major and kept taking art classes at the Academy. I didn’t know that I would become a painter, I didn’t know much back then.
At this point I should have become a Fine Arts Major, instead, I chose to become an Illustration Major, a career choice, I thought that I would make more money as an illustrator than as a fine artist. I took a class in illustration and hated it. I wasn’t even very good at the assignments, which frustrated me because I thought that my talent would be enough. Apparently it was not. I was now at a crossroads, I was a senior in college, on the honor roll, seemingly doing great in the beautiful city of San Francisco and yet, I had no major, and I had no idea what I really wanted to do. So I did the most insane thing that I could think of, I dropped out of school and moved to Italy. Amazingly it solved all of my problems. I was so busy trying to learn the language and customs of this foreign country that my former career issues just faded away. Italy is so incredibly beautiful that I was constantly inspired to create art. I had a job, I was a night porter in a small one star hotel. That meant that I could paint all day, and then go to work in the evening. I had just enough formal training as an artist to pull this off. At night I would study, I read about a thousand books. I read on all subjects, I gave myself the gift of culture.
Through my job at the hotel I was able to be financially stable enough to not worry about selling my artwork. I wanted to sell it in a prestigious gallery, but quite frankly, I was not good enough back then to show my work. It was too disoriented, without a solid base on which to stand upon. I kept at it, reading, learning, painting, and then when I was twenty five years old I made my first painting based almost exclusively on photographs. I had seen paintings by Richard Estes, and Chuck Close and I wanted to paint like them. This painting, Holy Water was a breakthrough watershed moment in my life as an artist. I had seen the light and I was quick to take advantage of my new found skills. By using photos I was able to put together projects which had stability and depth.
Eleven years later, I am now almost thirty six years old. I have had a successful one man show in a glamorous gallery near Washington, DC, and I consider myself to be a professional artist. I still work nights to have a salary, in a quaint bed and breakfast. However I have the ability to say that I create my own artwork, whatever I feel like making. This is a great luxury. By separating my artistic life from my financial needs I have been able to free my art and spend enormous amounts of time on one painting, I work on it until it is done, no deadlines, no stress. In 2005 I worked on a painting named Via del Corso from May until November. It is an extremely detailed painting which I am proud to have made. I am just about to start another one which is even bigger. I have to be true to my art. It is the only way that I can make it beautiful.
Ironically, I have followed down my parent’s path. I placed every barrier in my way to get here, always thinking that I had to make lots of money to be successful. In the end I found out that money is the answer, just to a different question. The question is not how much money you can make, but how can you make just enough money so that you can have lots of free time to do what you love.
Replies: 9 Comments
on Thursday, March 16th, Steve Abbott said
Matt, Nice article, GREAT paintings. Keep it up.
on Tuesday, March 7th, Olga said
Ellen! Two kids in Cornell!? I admire.
on Tuesday, March 7th, Ellen Fisch said
Matthew, the road you have taken will give you every emmotion that you have ever dreamed of.....most of all, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you lived an uncompromised life.
My parents were products of the depression and wanted me to have job security. I got a MA in education to please them, but actually I loved going to NYU because it was located in Greenwich Village...the art meca of the '70s. I had little encouragement or support until I married my husband. Interestingly, he came from a blue collar family with little money, but he realized that I was alive when I created art.
We have been married for 36 years, during all of which I painted by day and have had passing night jobs. My two children attended Cornell University and we have traveled to Europe. However, there have been many sacrifices along the way. I am familiar with every secondhand clothing store in my state! On the other hand, I buy my art supplies with product consideration first and cost second. It's a question of need. My car has 180,000 miles on it and some of the windows n my house are falling out. But, I always had what I needed to create art. Many of my anniversary gifts were brushes.
Recently, my 25-year-old son, who is in the fast paced business world and lives in Manhattan said the words that meant everything to me: "You actually lived your dream." My children are very creative in their way and I have given them free choice to do what they wish with the support and encouragement I can give....it's worth more than money. The final insight came from my daughter, a mother herself :"You have taught us to see the world."
To have all this AND to be able to paint is more than I dreamed of.
on Monday, March 6th, Andrew said
Mathew, what you've said brings up a lot to continue with. Olga and Brad, my degree never got me a single thing. But...I never had a night job, either, just made what I did off art alone. Mathew it sounds like you're on the verge of doing that, and if you do, you can say goodbye to the part time. Italy is very sympatico towards art and artists, and images like the ones you're making will be received well in the States, too. It also sounds like you've got a positive attitude which is a useful tool that keeps you exploring opportunities instead of saying '...that'll never work.' Come up to Pietrasanta some time!
on Monday, March 6th, Brad Michael Moore said
Matthew,
Excellent story and impressive portfolio here at aa. Europe is now the greater part of your blood. I too walked away from an art degree (with only a semester's worth of hours to go - it still would have taken 2 semesters to do, because of 2 classes I couldn't take co-currently). I understand what Olga's point was - a lack of the paper has cost me a few of the better "night jobs," along the way. Still, this is about your path and as such, it is worth it's own weight in gold. Art degrees, as a rule, will help your career more than not. On the other hand, there is talent that can't be taught - only honed and polished. As to your upbringing, I think it's a benefit to have creative parents. It's a greater benefit to have supportive parents. I think those of you who are young still should seek a parent's support when possible - open their eyes to what opens your own. Most important, when the support is not there - is that you listen to your own heart and, "Go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do," to quote the Mamas & the Papas. Down the road, in retrospection, it's the better reflection to muse upon.
on Monday, March 6th, Olga said
Jose, you got my msg right. What I was trying to say, it's always better to finish study (whatever it is) with diploma. Unfortunately, in current society this small paper is playng the determining role when it's about job positioin and salary. I am sure that having a diploma, Matthew would be able to get a better paid job which means more freedom. Also think about future - all these 5-6 dollars/hour jobs require the peron to be in a good health.. unfortunately, with age health problems appear. So it's better to have clean quiet job which require intellect but not physical efforts.
on Monday, March 6th, Matthew Bates said
Dear Jose & Olga,
Thank you for your comments. Life has taken me down its crazy ride and I have found myself here, happy with where I am, a painter, artist, and someone who has a job, in my case with my girlfriend's family, which has offered me a chance to make a steady income and to be part of a nice family situation. Since my artistic career is starting to make some money as well, I am going to go down to part time at the job so that I can focus on my art. Hopefully 2006 will be a banner year for my art!
on Monday, March 6th, jose freitas cruz said
Matthew, I hadn’t read something that made me feel so good and brought back so many memories of how, when and why I decided to become a fine artist myself for a long, long time. Just for that, thanks! My daughters probably feel the same way you did back then. When somebody asks them if they’re planning to be an artist like their dad they say no, not enough money coming in that side. And they’re not impressed with my asceticism either, which I do understand and respect – they have a life to lead and if they don’t live it up now they may never find whatever matters most to them later. As I see it, we come from different ends, you and I, yet we meet here on this forum to exchange views that end up being quite similar: we both quit our majors [different ones and for different reasons] at a critical stage in our lives and learnt that Art has taken us this far. From reading your post I sense that you too do not regret the road you’ve been taking. May you travel far and keep a smile on your face.
Just one thing more. I’m not sure I got your message right Olga. I thought about that a lot myself when faced with my decision, I would like to hear Matthew’s view on this. When I walked out of law school I wanted to burn all the bridges. If I was going to do it – become a painter – I didn’t want the possibility of a greater income to come in my way. And I only felt truly free when there was no more chance of the university I had attended taking me back in. Oh yes, I had to struggle with the temptation of what I saw as an easy solution to my financial woes, but I would rather find [and have found throughout these 20 years] jobs I like doing but keep me going back to painting out of necessity – the need and love to paint, yes, but more than that, the need to make what I love keep me alive, more than just financially.
on Monday, March 6th, Olga said
Matthew, I am touched by your story. The only thing you had to do - to finish your study and get a certificate. Thus, you could do less job and get more money - get more free time for painting.